


Halo 3 Got Me A Boyfriend: A Tutorial **GUARANTEED SUCCESS**

by scizor



Category: South Park
Genre: Craigs guinea pig dies and its sad, Halo 3 is a good game, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-04-18 10:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14211069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scizor/pseuds/scizor
Summary: Pity parties weren't for him, but sometimes, you need it.





	1. The Death of a Bachelor (Stripe)

**Author's Note:**

> i've never wrote a sp fic before so here we GO 
> 
> ill try keep updated with this til i finish!

Craig’s guinea pig had died that night. It was quite possibly the worst night of his life… again. He had, of course, had nights like this before. Guinea pigs only live so long after all, and that 8 year expectancy never got any better for him. He had always assumed that Stripe would live forever, that’s just how it was when you had a pet. And then he had thought the same about. Uh. Stripe #2 and… you get the idea. Even so, no matter how many times he would go through this, it never got to be any easier. When he was younger it was simple: his parents would lie about it, and he would believe them. He had learned about death early on though, and try as they might, Craig’s parents would never be able to use that same tactic on him anymore.

Craig didn’t exactly want to make a huge scene of it, but he was completely devastated, and this truly would never get any easier. He went to bed earlier that night, mostly to sulk by himself. Only his family really knew what had happened, as Craig didn’t really want to tell anyone else right now. It was kind of depressing, and he didn’t want to make people feel sorry for him of all things. He would have hated people’s pity over it, so he’d kept it to himself. No messaging anyone at all that night. His friends would probably wonder where he was, but it was fine. He’d see them at school the next day anyway.

For now it was just him and his empty guinea pig cage. It wasn’t a small cage or anything like that though. This cage practically took up half of Craig's room. He only wanted the best for Stripe, of course. Many people had only small cages for them with little space for them to move or play, and Craig would absolutely never subject his pets to something like that. Keeping guinea pigs indoors wasn’t favoured after all, but the conditions outside just weren’t good enough for keeping him there either.

Craig lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling, where little glow in the dark stars were stuck. Some had fallen off, and some were just about to. They’d been up there since he was much younger, and he just never found a reason to take them down. Plus, he liked them. Though, he would always forget that they were even there until night time. Every night the thought, “Oh shit, those are still there” was a common occurrence, and then he would have forgotten again by the morning.

He just felt numb more than anything. He wanted to cry, sure, but he didn’t actually have the energy to do it. It felt heavy in his chest and he just felt so sluggish and tired. He was sad. He was devastated. He was “everything in the world is bad right now but I might as well just suck it up and deal with it.” Craig rolled onto his side, only to be greeted with the guinea pig cage in the side of his room. He let out a groan, rolling over onto his other side, grabbing his pillow and shoving it over his face.

This was truly, the worst.

 

It was a while before Craig was able to fall asleep. For most of the night he was just buried in his pillow, mind completely blank for hours. He hadn’t even got changed, sleeping in the clothes he had worn all day, hat and all. He didn’t dream of anything.

When he had woken up his pillow was wet, and he couldn’t tell if it was from drool or crying. It was likely the latter, but he didn’t want to think about that. He was groggy and disoriented, having gotten very little sleep during the night, but his alarm was blaring loud enough to wake the entire neighborhood up. He reached over with his hand, trying to feel for the button on the alarm, almost knocking it off the nightstand as he grabbed and hit at the air.

Finally, his hand hit the button, silencing the damn thing once and for all. He relaxed a little, sighing into the pillow his face was firmly pressed against. He really, really needed to sleep longer, but he firmly believed that the yelling that his parents would deliver if he slept through school was not at all worth it. Just a little longer couldn’t hurt though…

Oh, but it did hurt. Craig passed out for a good hour longer, and of course, he was absolutely going to be late for school. His parents were probably at work, already assuming he had left the house, which was completely and utterly fantastic. Once he had woken up and saw the time he cursed, immediately throwing himself out of bed to hurry the fuck up and get ready. He grabbed his phone, greeted by about five hundred messages from Clyde asking him where the fuck he was, which was a treat to wake up to. He wasn’t even sure whether to bother replying or not. (He didn’t.)

As he had arrived late to school, Craig didn’t bother going to class, simply deciding that he would wait for everyone to leave their classes for break. He didn’t want to deal with his teacher yelling at him for not showing up, as he was going to get enough of that from his parents if they ever found out. He’d decided it was just better he wait.

When everyone was eventually let out of class, Craig found his friends as quickly as he could, unfortunately being on the receiving end of a tackle-hug from Clyde while Token, Tweek and Jimmy left him to this torture, simply laughing at his misery.

“Dude we totally thought that you had like… Died or something!” Clyde whined, absolutely refusing to relieve Craig from his death grip. “Didn’t you get my messages? You could of been abducted by aliens and we’d never know! Oh, but you’d probably like that… But, what would it be like without your stupid sarcasm all the ti--”

“Okay, Clyde. I think he gets the idea. And he’s not dead, and he definitely hasn’t been abducted by aliens.” Token butted in, saving Craig from Clyde’s endless reign of terror. “But seriously,” He continued, “Where the fuck were you, dude?”

Craig sighed, taking a moment to weigh in his options. He wasn’t really that sure if he wanted to deal with having a pity party right now or not. Or maybe his friends would just poke fun at him. That was always an option, though he didn’t really think it was a favourable one, either.

He shrugged stared at the ground. “Uh, I dunno. I slept in? You know how it is. I just woke up a little too late, that’s all.”

“He’s lying.” Tweek piped up, having not said anything until now.

Well… that wasn’t entirely true. Like, sure, Craig was lying about some of it, but he genuinely had slept in, though for reasons he didn’t quite want to expose to his friends right now. But maybe he wouldn’t have much of a choice with Tweek trying his best to get everything out of him.

“Dude, no. I’m not lying. I literally did sleep in.” Like he said. He wasn’t lying.

“Well, why did you skip class instead of coming in? Don’t you know how much trouble you could get into? Oh my God, dude. Maybe Clyde’s right. Maybe you did get abducted by aliens. Maybe they fucked with your brain and now they want you to get into serious trouble!” Tweek tugged at his hair.

Before he could continue, Craig threw up his hands. “Okay, okay. You got me. I have been abducted by aliens.”

Clyde, was staring, wide eyed, fists curled up. He looked like he was about to burst. Craig offered him a scowl, clearly unsure as to what the fuck he was looking like that for. He was… bouncing a little?

“Dude.” Token and Jimmy practically said in unison, and they clearly didn’t want Craig to egg on Clyde’s alien theory. They both practically gave him a death stare if he had ever seen one, and Craig didn’t really want to argue with that.

“Alright, fine. I wasn’t abducted by aliens and my brain has not been remixed. No big deal.” Tweek seemed to sigh in relief, catching Craig’s eye. Clyde on the other hand had stopped bouncing and seemed to look extremely disappointed in learning that he was completely wrong.

He shoved his hand in Craig’s face, pointing quite dramatically, “Craig Tucker, you WILL tell us what you were doing all last night! And all this morning, God damn it!”

Rolling his eyes, Craig grabbed Clyde’s arm and shoved it down. He clearly wasn’t getting anywhere with this. He didn’t want to have any kind of pity party over this, but it seemed like Craig had no choice in the matter. If anyone was going to continue this, it would be Clyde, and he certainly didn’t look like he would be giving up on this any time soon.

Sighing, he rubbed the back of his head, offering a half hearted smile, “Uh… Well, uh. How do I put this. Um. Well. Stripe like… Died… last night?”

Everything seemed to go silent for a moment. His friends faces darkening a little, smiles fading and the joking atmosphere seemed to disappear.

“Oh… Shit, dude.” Clyde stepped back, as if to give Craig some space after his remark. “Jesus dude I’m…”

Token offered a weak smile, putting his hand on Craig’s shoulder in some effort to comfort him. “Hey, it’s cool. I’m sorry _some_ of us were super desperate to make you share that shit. But I think we can all say that we’re so fucking sorry, man.”

Craig smiled a little, shrugging his shoulders. He really hadn’t wanted to say that today, but his friends reactions seemed genuine. That was at least of some meaning to him. Everyone offered their sympathy to him, and had all tried to ease his god awful feeling of devastation. Sure, his friends could be jackasses sometimes, but it made Craig happier knowing that they knew this just wasn’t the right time to be playful assholes about anything.

He was happy that his friends were there for him, there was no doubt in his mind about that.

Clyde had since gone on to change the subject, entering conversation with Jimmy and Token. Craig didn’t mind this of course, he would rather not talk about it either. He decided not to join in with them at all though. Zoning out of conversation was Craig’s speciality, of course. He wasn’t listening, he was just thinking. He was thinking about Stripe, of course. He was thinking about how he should probably get over this. He was thinking about how, no, he absolutely was not going to start crying right now. Absolutely not. Not in front of anyone right now. He could barely even deal with crying by himself never mind in the middle of school.

It was then that a shaky hand, poked him in the side. It pulled Craig out of his little thought bubble. “Hm...?” He glanced over.

It was Tweek. He hadn’t realised that Tweek hadn’t been involved with Clyde, Token and Jimmy’s conversation until this point. He just assumed that Tweek was involved, listening in as he usually did. Had Tweek been staring at him this whole time? Shit, that was embarrassing… He didn’t want to look like a total pussy in front of him. God, he must have looked so stupid, stuck in a daydream thinking about sad shit.

Tweek offered another one of those half hearted, weak smiles that everyone had been giving in the past hour. God, Craig was getting sick of them, but from Tweek, it was kind of nice. He smiled back, trying a little harder to make it seem much more genuine. “What’s up, dude?”

Tweek pulled his hand back quickly, playing with the bottom of his shirt with the other. He was so jittery, but he was obviously trying to cool it down while talking to Craig. “Craig I’m. I’m really sorry about Stripe. I know how much he meant to you…”

Craig waved his hand dismissively, against his better judgement. Of course, he didn’t feel dismissive at all about this, but Tweek had just been staring at him in his state of thinking, so he probably already knew. “Thanks, Tweek. It’s alright though… I’ll get over it. It’s not like this hasn’t happened before…”

“I know but… God, I’m just so sorry! I wish there was something I could do. I just know how much he meant to you.”

It was nice hearing this from Tweek. The rest of his friend’s probably didn’t want to push any of the wrong buttons and continue talking about Stripe. As much as he didn’t want pity, just hearing supportive words right now made things a little better.

“Thanks. It’s alright, you don’t have to do anythi—”

Butting in, Tweek fidgeted where he stood. “Agh, fuck, I’m sorry. You probably don’t want to talk about this right now. I shouldn’t have said anything! I’m sorry. Um. Do you maybe want to—”

“Hey Craig, Tweek! Do you guys wanna come over to my place after school?” Clyde shoved himself between them, arms around both of their shoulders. “I think it’d be fun! Token and Jimmy are gonna come over too. We can watch a movie or we could play video games. Snacks are on Token!”  
  
“Excuse me?” Immediate death glare coming in from Token.

Clyde winced, tightening his hold on both of them, but still keeping a goofy looking smile plastered to his face. He was obviously trying to lighten the mood, of course, but Craig couldn’t help but be a little annoyed that he had cut off what Tweek was going to say. Tweek was staring at the floor now, holding the bottom of his shirt and keeping silent. It clearly wasn’t the time to ask him anymore, but he guessed that it probably wasn’t worth hassling him for it.

“So. You guys game? It’ll be fun, I swear! Oh, but we can’t play baseball inside anymore. My dad totally flipped over that broken lamp last time, and I don’t think my ass can handle another grounding like that.”

Of course, Clyde’s great grounding of 2017. You could never forget a moment like that. He thought that it was a wonderful idea to _throw_ the bat, instead of hitting the ball. It went as well as you would imagine.

Tweek had nodded furiously in response, keeping quiet once again. If Tweek was going, Craig saw no reason at all to turn this down. Maybe they could talk later about everything, too. He hoped so, anyway.

Shrugging his shoulders, Craig nodded, “Yeah, sure. I’m up for that.” It would hopefully be a distraction from everything, which was probably what Craig needed right now, even if he would refuse to admit that. Hopefully he’d be able to relax and get away from dealing with all the awful feelings in his gut. Playing video games or watching a movie with his friends was always fun, even with Clyde whining about losing or what to watch. It was fun, and it wouldn’t be the _same_ without Clyde whining.

Clyde was one of his best friends, and him offering to have them all over after school was his way of showing that. Bro code, Craig guessed. He wasn’t going to argue with that, either.

 

* * *

 

 

Clyde’s room was an absolute chaotic mess, which is a scene that Craig had grown all too used to if he was going to be honest. It was a rare sight, but Clyde had taken the time to clean the floor before having everyone over. There was actually space to sit on the floor, for once. More often than not, Craig would be over, and you couldn’t even see the floor, it would just be covered in dirty laundry. On occasion there would be an empty pizza box or two. But that was just typical of Clyde, and Craig had grown to accept his messy habits. He wasn’t particularly one to keep his room tidy either, albeit not as bad as Clyde’s hellhole.

“Agh come on! Quit killing me, Craig! This is _not_ how I imagined Slayer to go down at all!” Clyde’s usual whining at video games was often a treat for Craig. It was more than funny to see him getting annoyed at video games, especially when he was losing.

And yes, of course they were playing Halo 3 in 2018. The classics never get old, Craig thought. It was a top choice for playing video games with his friends. They could always play the newer games, but they just didn’t feel the same. The old, shitty graphics were such a nostalgia trip for all of them, and the now dated controls just made the game even more fun to play. Nothing wrong with a good match of Slayer or Infected, the favourite game modes of the entire party.

Jimmy was currently in the lead, frustrating everyone. Craig and Token were neck and neck in second, while Clyde was lagging behind. Tweek… well, the game could only play 4 people, so they would have to switch in after every match. Tweek would usually be the one on the side. Craig often worried that Tweek may feel a little left out, so he would try to include him in the conversation despite everything. He thought that Tweek didn’t really want to play half the time, anyway. Whether that was true or not, he had no idea, but he never seemed to complain about it. That didn’t stop Craig from feeling bad, though.

“Token! Dude, not you too! Are you guys just ganging up on me? I swear none of you have killed each other! I’m not dumb, I see your plot!”

“Oh, Clyde, is that you, perhaps?” Jimmy only had to say one sentence to make Clyde truly screech, the death scene claiming him once again, further adding to Jimmy’s already impressive score.

It was fun, though. Being able to hang out with all his friends, laughing at Clyde’s misery together. It was easily getting Craig’s mind off of Stripe, which he was eternally grateful for.

They all laughed when Clyde almost launched his controller across the room… All of them except Tweek. Because he wasn’t involved, Craig thought. He seemed to be staring blankly at the screen, not really taking anything in that was going on. Craig frowned to himself, taking his focus off of the game to put a hand on Tweeks shoulder. Tweek flinched at his touch, as if being snapped out of some kinda weird trance.

“Hey, Tweek. Do you wanna play next? The game’s almost over.” Craig was ready to hand him the controller at any moment, ignoring Token’s yell of glee from shooting Craig down while he was distracted and talking to Tweek. He just looked so out of it. Craig had no idea what he could be thinking about while staring blankly at nothing. It made him feel bad, really, as he really wanted to include Tweek. He liked Tweek a lot.

Smiling and shaking his head, Tweek pushed the controller back into Craig’s hands. “N-No its. It’s fine you can continue playing. I don’t mind! I wouldn’t wanna. You know. Get in the way or anything!”

“Are you sure? We’ve been playing for solid hours and you’ve only had two games.” He pushed the controller back into Tweeks hands, making him frown in response.

“Craig! I said it’s okay! J-just. Get back to the game, damn it.” He sounded so annoyed, which took Craig a little bit back. He really just wanted to include him, like… He was their friend, too. He hated having to see Tweek just sit back and entertain himself. It didn’t look fun at all, and sitting with your own thoughts for hours can be damaging as fuck, in Craig’s experience.

Suddenly, the doorbell went, and Clyde was off like a rocket, practically screaming about how the pizza had arrived. If there was anything that got that boy to run, it was food. Token rolled his eyes, watching him leave. He sat down his controller, and Craig took that as a sign to do the same, while Jimmy, in turn, killed both of them while their hands were off of the controller. Typical.

Clyde was back in his room just a few moments later, two pizza boxes in his arms. He had insisted that one absolutely wasn’t enough to satisfy all of them, which was, in Clyde language, “I’m going to devour this pizza and unless we have two, you’ll have to fight me for a slice”. He plopped himself down on the floor in the middle of everyone, placing the boxes in front of him and opening them up. Everyone took that as the go ahead to digging in, and that’s exactly what they all did.

Reaching for a slice, Craig wasn’t paying attention to much else, when Tweek’s hand brushed against his. They were going for the same slice… Oh…. Craig’s face flushed a little, and he was pretty sure that Tweek’s did as well... He was about to say something or laugh it off (nervously) when Tweek quickly pulled his hand back.

“Shit, sorry.” He shakily reached for a different slice, taking one and quickly retreating back.

Craig wasn’t sure what to say to that. He wanted to say a lot of things. Oh, it’s okay, you can have it…? No. No that was stupid as shit. He had already taken another slice of pizza anyway. Tweek just looked so much more anxious after that, and it made Craig feel a little bad. He didn’t mean to. Uh. Do whatever he just did.

He tried to not stare at Tweek in the next few moments, but Craig couldn’t help it, really. Thankfully, Tweek wasn’t paying attention at all, too busy staring into space or some shit. He didn’t really want to be caught staring at him. One, it was kind of creepy and weird, and two, it’d probably freak the poor guy out even more.

A hand waved in Craig’s face, snapping its fingers, pulling Craig out of his daze. He blinked and looked over, it was Clyde of course. He was grinning stupidly.

“Craig. You and me. Death match. Right now.”

“Oh please.” Craig scoffed, resulting in a light punch in the shoulder from Clyde, who then handed him his controller from where it was on the floor.

“I’m serious, dude. I’m gonna kick your ass!”

 


	2. Lamp Post

The walk home was dreadful.

 

Token and Jimmy had been picked up, so it was just Craig and Tweek. Clyde had waved them off at the door, insisting that the leftover pizza was better left at his house. Craig had rolled his eyes at this, and Clyde punched him playfully in the shoulder before they set off. Tweek’s house was closer than Craig’s, so he’d decided to walk Tweek home before heading off to his own house. Not that Tweek wanted to be walked home, of course. He made quite the fuss about it, telling Craig he didn’t need to go to that kind of trouble, but Craig simply ignored this entirely.

They didn’t speak, for most of it, just walking in silence. It was awkward as fuck, of course. Craig would go to say something, then stop, as he was kind of nervous. It wasn’t that often where Tweek and Craig would be alone together. Most of the time, they would always be with the rest of their friends, so it was like, having some kind of backup behind you all the time. Craig did really like Tweek, after all, not that anyone knew of this. The what? Gay? Maybe so. But Craig wasn’t about to admit to anything like that. As far as he was concerned, Tweek was just his friend. Hell, they weren’t even exactly that “close”, either. They were just friends. Of course, Craig would love to get to know him better than what he currently did. 

Tweek was fun to be around, and he really enjoyed to spend time with him, even if he could be a bit of a dick sometimes. But honestly, Craig kind of liked that, really. It wasn’t like he couldn’t be a total asshole himself. Plus, who really gives a shit anyway? It was ten times more important that Craig enjoyed his company. Whether Tweek actually liked being around him though, he had no idea. It was kind of worrying actually. He didn’t know if Tweek got annoyed when Craig went out of his way to hang out with him. He’d try to invite him to things, such as playing video games at Clyde’s house, stuff like that. The worst part is that Craig wasn’t really that sure if Tweek actually enjoyed that, or if he was just putting up with it because he had nothing better to do.

Yeah… thinking about it, it wasn’t really like any of his friends did anything interesting when they hung out together. Most of the time they would just play old video games. Not that new FPS games were bad or anything, it was just a lot funnier when you can clip through the wall and use any number of stupid, broken video game coding to your advantage. Jimmy was quite the pro at that, as Craig had noted over the many times they had played together. He wondered if maybe he spent his entire night looking up how to speedrun in Halo 3. It wouldn’t be all that surprising, knowing how many times he could just appear behind you and immediately knife you to death.

It seemed that Tweek was never really even interested in any of it, though. He’d play occasionally, but again, Craig really wasn’t sure if it was out of obligation or if he actually wanted to. Maybe video games just weren’t for him. Tweek would always get way more into the movies they’d watch, but that wasn’t as often, because everyone tended to prefer the interaction that video games were able to bring to the table. Craig could never tell if Tweek was enjoying anything unless it was a movie. It was fun to watch him getting so into them, and how he would eat his popcorn just a little faster paced than usual at any intense scene… Okay, OK. This was getting kind of weird to think about. OK. Craig wasn’t a creep, watching his friend more than paying attention to movies, he wasn’t at all. But it did sound kind of weird… Maybe he was? Whatever, he didn’t care. Tweek was cool, and that was all he was going to admit to at the moment. Cool. Just cool.

“Craig…?”

Oh, wait, shit, he was clearly distracted as fuck right now. Craig hadn’t even realised that Tweek was talking to him. He was completely lost in the fucking cesspool in his head. God, he was a dumbass. He had absolutely no idea what Tweek had just said to him at all, being that he was too busy thinking about how fun it was watching  _ movies _ . 

“Uh. Yeah?” He cracked a smile, resulting a frown in response from Tweek, making his smile vanish almost immediately. Okay. That probably wasn’t the right response at all to whatever he had just said. Shit, okay, he fucking sucked at this, “Sorry.”

Tweek’s frown faded into a more concerned look as Craig apologised. Scratching the back of his head, he repeated what he had said. “D-Dude, I get that you’re really… Upset right now, it’s okay if you don’t want to talk. I’m just, really sorry about… About Stripe, you know? I know how much he meant to you.” 

Obviously, this wasn’t at all something that Craig wanted to talk about. It had been lingering in the back of his mind all day, and he was trying to avoid it at all costs. He was upset. He was more than upset. Stripe was basically his entire life, after all. He loved him so much. If there was anything that brought Craig comfort, it was his guinea pig. His attachment to him was unreal, and now that was just completely gone. It was sad, and it still hadn’t really set in for him that this was even real. It hadn’t set in that when he got home, he wouldn’t have any squeaking in his room welcoming home, begging for a bag of lettuce. That was possibly the thing that upset him most. Stripe would always greet him, and although Craig knew it was him simply wanting to be fed, it still meant a lot to him. 

Getting to play with and pet him had always made him feel better, too. If it was a particularly bad day, or his dad had gotten annoyed at him and yelled or something, it was always a nice thing to retreat to. It was nice being able to hide in your room and run your hands through the soft fur of someone who unconditionally loved you no matter what. Craig was going to miss that. He hadn’t really thought about how much that was going to suck. He wasn’t the best at the whole talking to people thing. He much preferred to sit and whine to an animal who could just listen to him. Now he wasn’t going to have that anymore. It really felt hopeless to him. He had owned Stripe for years now, so it was only a matter of time before it eventually happened, but he was never going to be ready for that.

Shaking his head, Craig shrugged, smiling weakly, “Hey, it’s no big deal. These things happen, you know. I’ll get over it.” No, that was most likely one of the worst lies he had ever told. He wasn’t going to get over it. Especially not now that he was thinking about it after trying to ignore the whole thought for the entire day. It was only going to get worse, and he knew this. He didn’t want to admit to it at all though.

“Shut up, Craig.” Tweek sounded annoyed as shit after that comment. Craig had no clue why though, as it wasn’t anything to do with him. It was Craig’s problem to deal with, not his. “Ugh, you’re so difficult to talk to! I k-know you’re upset, you can’t lie to me about this. You’re a shit liar, I hope you know that! I don’t get why you won’t just… Talk about it. It’s obviously upsetting you. You’ve been acting off all fucking day, dude.”

Was he? Craig blinked, taking a moment to think on that. Was he acting weird…? No one had said anything to him about how he was acting. No one had mentioned it, or Stripe or… anything, really. Maybe they just didn’t want to be rude, or something. Of course, Tweek was totally different from that, so maybe Craig should have expected something like this to happen when they were alone.

Frowning, he shrugged again. “OK. Okay. I’m upset. It’s nothing though. There’s nothing that I can do about it. It’s done now. I can’t do shit to fix it, and I’m going to have to deal with that. There’s no point in talking about it, because I’m just going to get upset. I don’t want to deal with that, Tweek. I don’t want to get upset in front of anyone. I don’t want to get upset in front of  _ you _ . It’s embarrassing, so I’d rather just get over myself by myself.”

He thought that what he had said was right, but Tweek only looked frustrated, which took Craig a little bit back. He didn’t expect any of his friends to actually care about this, or even want to talk about it for that matter. Everyone had just seemed so awkward and quick to change the subject. But that suited Craig, because even he didn’t want to talk about it at all. He didn’t get why Tweek was being so pushy, it’s not as if they were even close  _ close  _ friends. As much as Craig would have liked to be, he wasn’t. Clyde was his best friend, and even he didn’t want to touch the subject, thankfully.

“You’re… You’re so difficult, Craig! It’s not going to help if you don’t at least acknowledge it instead of j-just. Ignoring it and acting like it hasn’t happened. What’re you gonna do tonight? You’re gonna go home and cry. I.  I don’t mean that in a bad way, please don’t take that in a bad way, okay? I’m serious. You’re just gonna go home, and you’re gonna go to your room, and you’re gonna cry. You’re gonna ignore everyone again, you’re not going to message anyone all night you’re just going to go home and cry and you’re gonna feel bad about yourself and you’re gonna be up all night fucking… Staring at your guinea pig’s empty cage and you’re gonna think about it all night and your parents… Your dad… They’re going to get pissed at you because you won’t come down for dinner, and he’s going to yell at you and tell you to stop being such a baby and you’re just going to get more upset and… Oh my God. You know what’s going to happen stop pretending that it won’t!”

Ouch, that one stung a little. More than a little. A lot? Tweek completely going off on him, talking as if he didn’t need to even take one breath, completely ripping him apart was something new. He knew Tweek could be a little explosive sometimes, but this was a little bit far from his usual. Craig frowned, feeling his eyes starting to get a little wet. He didn’t want to get upset right now, but Tweek wasn’t making that any easy task. He didn’t appreciate his parents being brought into it, either. But really, the worst part of it is that Tweek was probably right about it all. He was probably right, and that wasn’t something that Craig wanted to hear. It just made him kind of annoyed and angry that Tweek would say this stuff, when he clearly knew how upset Craig was even though he had tried to hide it.

“Okay. Thanks Tweek. I’ll really take that into consideration next time I want to sit and be a pussy about shit. You’re a real fucking help, you know? Friend of the year. Thanks so much!” Craig had raised his voice a little, due to being a bit more than pissed off right now. However, he regretted everything the second it had left his lips, as Tweek stared at him, mouth gaping. Ah, he really fucked that one up. He liked Tweek a lot, he didn’t mean to imply he was a bad friend he was just… upset, and it was hard to think straight.

“Oh! Oh thank you so much Craig. I guess I won’t try to help you next time. Y-you know that I  _ saw _ you trying to play video games today Craig. You were absolutely shit. I saw you wiping your eyes every so often, I saw it all. Maybe everyone else didn’t notice, but I did. So yes, Craig. You will go home and be a pussy about this, and you fucking know it, so don’t give me that crap! There isn’t any winning with you! Y-you’re never fucking open or anything and I’m sick of it. Stop trying to keep up this… this act that you’re cool or something. You’re not.” Tweek had also, raised his voice now. They were practically yelling at each other. Craig had obviously struck a nerve, but it was too late to go back now, he couldn’t just say he didn’t mean it, it was too late. Tweek was already upset over it and he couldn’t change that. 

He was still mad that Tweek would talk to him like that, though, especially knowing what had happened. He shot him a death glare and began crossing the road to just get away from him. He wanted to go an entirely different direction and just not deal with this anymore. Tweek had started walking faster, too, probably thinking the exact same thing. 

Wiping his eyes on his sleeve, he mumbled a very quiet “sorry” as he turned away from Tweek. Craig wasn’t even sure if he heard it, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to get home and not deal with this anymore. 

He looked back at Tweek, who was hurrying off, not even giving him a glance. Craig wiped his eyes again, turning and-- _ WHACK.  _ He walked right into a lamppost. He hadn’t even seen it or noticed it, being too focused on where  _ Tweek _ was going rather than himself. Rubbing his head, he looked around frantically, quietly cursing to himself and thanking fuck that no one was around to see that. Now his head was really aching. 

Collecting himself and rubbing his head, Craig immediately made his way home, swearing he heard a giggle coming from Tweek’s direction.

 

 

On arriving home, Craig hurried himself to his room immediately. He had no intention of saying hello to any of his family or letting them know that he was home. He was going straight to his room and he wasn’t coming out ever. Well, until tomorrow anyway, when he would have to, because, school and shit. Or… maybe he just wouldn’t go to school. That was always an option. Though was the risk of another detention entirely worth that? He wasn’t sure, but he was really considering it. He had already skipped a few classes today, so what did it really matter? He didn’t really want to face Tweek after what he had said.

Craig dropped his bag on the floor.  He didn’t want to deal with anything right now. He pulled his phone from his jacket pocket, noting a few messages from Clyde. Something about seeing a cat sitting outside of his window. Rolling his eyes, he took his phone and turned the whole thing off, chucking it to the floor beside his bag. Probably needed charged. Not that it mattered, as he didn’t plan on talking to anyone anyway.

Throwing his jacket off into the pile with his bag, Craig hurried himself to the bathroom. On looking in the mirror, he realised what a mess he was. He had been dry heaving to himself on the way home, trying to do his best to not start sobbing in the middle of the street. It only worked up until he was at his front door, though. His face was red and his eyes were puffy. Rubbing his face furiously, he turned on the tap and shoved his face into the sink to try cool himself down.

Once he was finished washing his face, he looked back up into the mirror. Oh. Great. His hat was now soaked. He hadn’t even realised he didn’t take it off. That was great. He had such an attachment to his hat, and he hated anything at all happening to it like that. Now it was soaked with the water because he had been leaning into the sink. Groaning, Craig took it off and shook it a little in the air to get any excess water off of it. His hair was a complete mess, as it usually was whenever he took the hat off. He didn’t even bother to try fix it, though. There was no point in it. It wasn’t like anyone was going to see him for the rest of the night, so it didn’t matter.  


Returning to his room, he quietly closed the door until it clicked shut. Almost tripping over his bag and jacket, he made his way over to his bed, baring a searing pain in his gut at the lack of squeaking, noise and movement in his room. He hung his hat on the side of his bed to try let it dry a little.

Tugging the blankets from his bed, Craig lay down in it and pulled them over himself, hiding his face in his pillow. He didn’t even bother getting undressed for bed.

_ This shit again _ , he thought. This is exactly the same as last night. He really hadn’t gotten anywhere with this. It was literally just a repeat of the same issues he had the other night. It was also exactly what Tweek had said would happen, and he fucking hated it.

He hated that Tweek was right. He hated that Tweek read him like a book somehow. He was pissed off, but behind all of that, he was just sad. He was sad that he had upset his friend, he was sad that he had lost Stripe, and he was sad that he didn’t know how to fix any of this.

It sucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soz it took me so long to write this feels bad man. hope u enjoy. all i know how to write is sad shit i GUESS


End file.
